Top-Ten: A Photo Essay

I was recently asked to submit a picture of myself for a professional website but I ran into a little problem: In my collection of over 2,000 photos currently stored on my computer, dating from last June to the present, there is not one decent photo of me to submit. Not one.
I made a few observations while scrolling through iPhoto and have decided to compile them here for your amusement.

"Top Ten Reasons Why There Are No Decent Professional-Website Worthy Pictures of Me"

#1. Most obvious: I am usually the one behind the camera.


#2. I am with other people who do not need to be featured on said website.



#3. I am often photographed outside; thus, I am usually wearing sunglasses.
Since the eyes help us connect with other people, even in photographs, it's generally not a good idea to cover them up when you need to look professional.



#4. I'm with an animal. Sometimes several at a time.




#5. There is food involved.



Quite often, there is food involved while I'm with other people.


#6. There is drink involved.



#7. I am being overly-expressive.
This behavior is especially non-conducive to professional websites.



Especially when I am being expressive and there are animals involved...


#8. I am wearing a silly hat.
I was honestly quite surprised at the number of photos featuring me and headgear of some sort.




#9. The picture is so far from present-day that it's totally irrelevant.
You know, like, I'm four.


Or eight.


Or barely even born. Not to mention my sister's choice of headgear...


10. And finally, the picture involves some combination of the above themes. Examples:

Sunglasses/With someone/Food/Drink


Silly hat/Food


With someone/silly hat/animal


Sunglasses/With someone/Being overly-expressive (yes, I'm pretending to be preggo - so is my dad, apparently...)


So, all that being said... Despite the fact that I'm a bit overly-expressive in this one, it really is the best I could come up with for submission. What do you all think?